I’d like to let you know that this post is quite personal for me to write, but I wanted to share this with you as I would like to explain what has been going on in my life lately and why you didn`t really see me around on the internet. My blog is my little place on the internet, the place where I can escape and ramble about all the things that are going on in my life. And well, life isn`t always that great. I also believe that it is okay to show this, as long as you don`t go down the negative path. Especially on social media and blogs it seems as if everyone has a perfect life and we are just posting the good things that happen and let`s be honest now: how many selfies do you take before you post one online? But this is not a reflection of real life.
So, let me start this post with my apologies. So many people have asked why I didn`t continue with my Picture Mondays, telling me that they have missed it and wondering if it would come back and if so when. I just checked it and I must admit that it has been over three months since I last posted a Picture Monday. And the blogs of the last few weeks haven`t been that spectaculair either. I didn`t plan to write fewer blog posts, neither to give blogging a break, I just didn`t have the time or energy to do it as often as I wanted. Most of you probably already know that me and Nevzat have been in the Netherlands for the last couple of months and honestly it just has been a crazy time with my health, friends, family, work, the holidays and so much more. We are back in Istanbul since a few weeks now and tough I was very happy about returning home, getting back on track and make a new and fresh start at the beginning of 2016, I haven`t been very active lately. My head is full with new ideas that I really want to share with you, but my body doesn`t agree with anything at the moment. It started with a massive panic attack in the air-plane followed by an ambulance at the airport and it ended with me being total mental, having panic attacks and ugly, very ugly cries in my bed for the last few weeks. No shame here, because we can not just have a pretty-perfect-life-filled-with-rainbows-and-unicorns all the time. For those who have never experienced a panic attack, it is very difficult to understand what it is like when you suddenly feel sick, claustrophobic, nauseous and afraid while your body feels hot and cold and starts to shake and sweat and has pain in the chest. At the same time your heartbeat and breathing are very fast, or you even feel unable to breath at all. And this is just out of your control. Just like your emotions and your senses that are heightened extremely. It happens so quick, you don`t even realize that it is about to going to happen. Anxiety is just awful and physically very exhausting, so I decided to give myself a break from everything that has been going on in my life and to focus on myself. And that is pretty much all I have been doing since we are back in Istanbul and reason for my absence. Yes, not that great, so let`s focus on the positive again.
I must say that I didn`t take many photos, because I just didn`t think about it too much as I was far to busy enjoying my time in the Netherlands. Tough, while sorting out my photos from last month, I still came up with over a hundred of photos. So I`ve decided to split this blog post in two parts of Picture Monday and part two will be online next week.
This was back in november. I don`t even have my hair like this anymore now. Isn`t this gorgeous? I loved my hair so much here and I think I will do it again next time I go to the hairdressers. Thank to Elit Kuafor
Visiting the children’s farm in the garden of my accountant. She does such amazing work with animals that have been abandoned due age, sickness or just because people aren`t able to look after them. She literally gives up her whole social life to take care of these cuties, so they can basically just have the best animal life one can wish for.
A small selection of food. I can not handle to place more photos of food. And I must admit that I`ve add a kilo or six during our stay in the Netherlands. Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit here, but let`s not pretend my favourite jeans still fit, haha. I ate too much. Too much. Way too much. I was planning on bringing plenty of food back to home in Istanbul, but somehow we didn`t have much kilos of luggage left after packing most of our daily stuff. So unfortunate we didn`t bring much food at all and now I am very sad. I want cheese. And bread. And cookies. Wine. Beer.
Yakup, one of our friends from Istanbul came to visit us. He just called us from Schiphol, the airport to tell us he had arrived, while we didn`t even know he was coming, haha. It was such a lovely surprise and we did have so much fun. Yakup has never been in Amsterdam before and he only stayed for two days so we had to show him all the highlights in a short amount of time. Wich was actually really cool because we ended up like real tourists in the city center and I could actually see Amsterdam from a tourist`s view.
With the love of my life. And you can also see one of the reasons that I do not ever want to move back. I so do not like the rain and wind. It really feels like the wind always blows extremely hard and it rains ridiculously a lot.
Nevzat of course wanted to visit hair and beauty wholesales as much as possible. I usually don`t have enough patience for this -so most of the time he ends up with my brother-, but the times that I do come along with him, I get this very werid feeling inside of a mix that I must buy new stuff, change my haircut, need to have new supplies and want to color my hair. It`s something like that, I don`t know how to best define it, but I`m sure you all know what I mean, haha.
Nevzat is actually a woman hairdresser, but he can also do men`s hair. He did a lot of haircuts with the shaved dash that you see a lot these days, but I personally really like this haircut, because it is a bit different then usual. You can by the way follow Nevzat on Facebook and Instagram